Throughout my life, many people have asked me how I overcame my past. I had a difficult childhood filled with abuse, poverty, and insecurity. Yet somehow, I rose above it.
When people ask me how, my answer is simple: mental toughness.
Not because I was unaffected by what happened to me. Not because I never struggled, questioned myself, or wanted to give up. Mental toughness, to me, is developing the fortitude to keep moving forward no matter the obstacle in front of you.
What We Get Wrong about Mental Toughness
People often associate mental toughness with a rough exterior. It might be seen as being emotionless, and unyielding. Those that are associated with having mental toughness are seen as impervious to pain or are fearless. This isn’t necessarily a sign of mental strength. This is more a definition of being strong-minded.
Someone with mental toughness embodies resilience and is able to persevere. They also see an opportunity to grow, both mentally and emotionally.
Mental Toughness is Built, Not Inherited
Mental toughness is not simple an innate quality. It is most often developed through life experiences and practice. Mental toughness is strengthened through challenges, embracing adversity and maintain a positive outlook on life.
Individuals with mental toughness are able to cope better with stress by seeing. They look for answers instead of giving up. They are flexible to the demands of life and ever changing circumstances. Individuals with mental toughness continue despite uncertainty.
Mental toughness isn’t the absence of struggle, it is the ability to response with intention while experiencing it.
How to Develop Mental Toughness
So how does one develop and strengthen mental toughness? Below of some key strategies to becoming mentally tough:
- Stop expecting discomfort to mean something is wrong.
- Growth often feels uncomfortable and doubt doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Your decisions may be sound but fear could be telling you to stop.
- Learn to separate feeling from decisions.
- You can feel afraid and still move forward. You can feel discouraged and still move forward. You can doubt yourself and still make the decision you want.
- Focus on what you can control.
- Mental toughness strengthens when you stop spending your time focusing on things you cannot control. Remember to redirect your energy toward your response, choices, behavior, and action.
- Keep promises to yourself.
- Following through on what you said build self reliance. Self reliance builds confidence.
- Remember to allow for recovery.
- Mental toughness isn’t endless pushing. Sometimes the strongest response is recognizing that what you are currently doing isn’t working and choosing to change direction.
Mental Toughness isn’t developed during those easy times in life. It’s built when you felt disappointed, uncertain, frustrated, tired, scared – and you decided that those feelings weren’t going to control you.
You don’t have to become fearless. You just need to become someone who can experience the discomforts in life head on. Every challenge you face, every boundary you hold, every promise you keep to yourself you build evidence that you can handle hard things.
And eventually that evidence changes the way you see yourself.
Reflection:
When life becomes uncomfortable, how do you interpret that discomfort?
Until next time,
