To many, success is obvious. It’s a life filled with the finest of things. A fancy car, a nice home, impressive job, a gorgeous partner. Yet, many people who “have it all” aren’t any happier than those that don’t have those things. Research shows that success is often misinterpreted. Success is better understood as the “achievement of intention” which emphasizes personal fulfillment over societal standards.
External View of Success
Many people in Western cultures focus on external achievement. From a young age we are inundated with images and stories of money and fame. Wear the name brand clothes and you’re seen as cool. Drive the fast car and get the prom queen. Make the money and have all the friends
Yet, this often leads to feelings of emptiness and being dissatisfied. And exhausted with keeping up with a false image of somebody we don’t even know. We find ourselves feeling lost and unsure of what life is really suppose to mean
Internal View of Success
I’m not here to tell you that you have to give up the niceties of life. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. To be successful and have it be meaningful takes a shift from an objective view to a more subjective view. Success is not stagnant, nor is it a series of goals to achieve. Success is a journey. It is meant to be evaluated over time.
When we take a more subjective approach to success, we focus on our personal goals that align with our values and strengths, rather than wealth and status. Internal success emphasizes personal fulfillment and self- actualization. When we take this approach we feel satisfaction when we accomplish something meaningful.
Key Components of Internal Success
Meaningful success is more internal, it’s more intentional. It’s the love of the challenge, overcoming obstacles, finding the answer to a complex problem. It isn’t the finish, it is the messy middle, a path filled with learning.
Internal success is having the ability to bounce back from difficulties. It’s learning from our experiences. This can be developed through mindfulness and stress management techniques. It is also developed by challenge limiting beliefs. Develop skills to manage emotions. Use breathing techniques and meditation to calm the soul.
Building a supportive network of friends and mentors. Align yourself with others that have similar values and goals. You are the five people you hang with the most. Choose those that enhance your well-being and challenge you to grow.
Finally, focus on the moments that mean the most to you. The times you connected with someone you love. The time you overcame a challenge. The time you laughed so hard you cried. Add up all the times you felt alive and focus on the feeling you had. Be curious, open to learn new things. Remember to slow down, even if just for a moment. Do more activities that are meaningful to you.
Redefining success
Success doesn’t have to mean giving up ambition or achievement. It means deciding what that means to you. True success is building a life that reflects your values, pursuing goals that matter to you, and being present enough to actually experience the life you are working so hard to create.
So maybe the question isn’t, “Am I successful?”
Maybe it’s “Am I intentionally creating a life that feels successful to me?”
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about how impressive your life looks from the outside. It’s about how it feels to live it.
Reflection:
If no one else could see your life, what would success look like to you?
Until next time.
